Originally posted on my other blog 2009:

Feeling older,
incomplete,
turning inward,
can't compete,
while thoughts abounding,
in my head,
of escaping - hiding,
are being fed.

Withdraw and flee,
the only way,
cannot take it,
must be a way,
to understand,
and make it be,
no...
cannot change it,
is it me?

If it is, I need to go
can't go through it
anymore,
Life is great,
then crashing down,
roller coaster
spinning round.
Rolling coasters
seem to be
my endless downfall
- enemy.

Never knowing
what comes next
but see it clearly
seems complex.
See it coming
face the truth
or hide and wait
for living proof.

Self fulfilling
prophecy?
Something different
meant to be?
Exit sanely
keep the cool,
wading deeper
in the pool.

But what of love?
That cosmic joke!
See the bear..
take a poke.
Trust your heart
feel the sting
never seeing
what it brings.

Know the truth
see it come
struggle deep
for peace not won.
Blast of hatred
for self and man
kindred spirits?
just a scam?.

But what of love
that cosmic joke?
Feel the fire
smell the smoke.
Grasp the flames
slipping through
denying logic
drowning you.

Kindred thoughts
too much, too fast
too many hurts
stuck in the past.
Breaking free
from deeds unwon
spinning forces
come undone.

~Bodecoa


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Spillage and Sewage

First published on my other blog 7/7/09:

Spillage and Sewage:

In the darkness of day, it slides in
clouding over with it's night.
Blocking the light of it's passion, never knowing what is lost.

Light encloses me, engulfs me, suspends me, torments me
I escape to the darkness of the beating heart.
And fall, deeper to the blinding pits.

Shallow graves build upon the lives of the chosen ones,
unseeing, unknowing, unfeeling, unshowing.
Blasted in and out - in one false showing.

Many parts have many forces,
singularly flowing to the masses of choices.
Never knowing - never growing.

Happenstance, circumstance, evolution and living
blasts apart the schism of time, eroding it to the infinite wisdom
spooling over , with endless rhyme.
~Bodecoa


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Life is like a Twister game...

As a child, if I had realized how much we could learn from the game Twister, I might not have played it so much.

You see, I think life is a series of decisions, much like Twister. Life tells you what the circumstances are that are going to play out for you today - "right foot red" - and we react to the circumstance by choosing which red spot to put it on. There are always choices in everything we do - sometimes they are limited; sometimes we have to struggle against ourselves or other people to get to the choice we want, but we have choices.

I think that the Twister Game of Life is a much larger field of dots, however. It is a vast and ever-growing field of dots and with each one that we choose...

Experimental Happiness

Have you ever asked yourself what it means to be happy? I would venture to say that for each person, the answer would probably be somewhat similar, but vastly different.

Some people would say being rich would make them happy, or having this car or that kind of house or this particular job, etc. Others would be more apt to think about friendships, families and personal relationships. And still others would think about being at peace with their surroundings, or in tune with themselves.

What does real happiness feel like? 
If I were to describe it, I would say things like, "loving", "caring", "warm fuzzy feelings", "smiling", "state of well-being", and struggle to give words to something that isn't really all that describable.

The Inner Circle

Circles - Concentric spheres of personality ... secrets ... confining spaces ... protected places.

The innermost revered but seldom revealed.

Circles of five - tighter as they go.

Five - for a series of protection ... reflection ... inflection ... fear

The outer is where we meet and greet ... sizing ... dancing ... learning ... waiting

If proven deceit, the outer is where we stay.

I think I thought I could

Whether you think you can or think you can’t—you are right.

~Henry Ford

Good old Henry Ford: inventor ... visionary ... guy who hung out with Thomas Edison.

And why do I care? Let's talk about thinking - believing - working.

I've heard the expressions, "The power of positive thinking" or "Ask and you shall receive" or "God helps those who help themselves". There are hundreds of them, but basically they are all saying that if we ask it, think it, believe it and work towards it, it will happen.

There are motivational speakers who claim that if you "visualize" something happening, it will happen. Others say that if we set our plans out and sharply define each goal, we can achieve anything. Some call it Kharma or God's will or the energies of the universe coming together to help ("What energies you put out into the universe comes back to you").

Whatever you call it, or however you believe, this stuff works. Let me give you a little example.

Looking for treasure

As I drive past the church on my way to work every day, I read the sign. You know the type, it's one of those variable letter signs that the pastor can go out to once a week and change to suit his needs; sometimes is a cute saying, sometimes it tells of special events or what Sunday's sermon is going to be.

This week it had a saying, "Some people find fault like they're finding treasure."